You know those surreal moments in our life... We all have them. The ones that seem to play out like a movie drama and we watch them unfold in a strange slow-motion deal. The times, we seem to switch to auto-pilot mode and when people ask us how we're doing we respond with, "I'm fine." This is one of those moments for me.
You sometimes hear about people in coma's. The first thing I always think about is, what in the world is going on inside of their mind. Can they hear?? Can they feel?? And above all, what would they think or want if they could see themself laying there on life support. This is the situation I now see played out.
So how did we get here?? Well, my best friend of almost 20 years has endured leukemia three times now. When I used to think of leukemia I thought of those sad little, bald headed children you would see on those children's hospital commercials. I know those parent's and children are going through hell, but they really didn't affect me. They seemed to be a world away from my life. All of a sudden leukemia was in my face. Up front and real! The first thing I realized is how little I really knew about leukemia. What in the world is leukemia exactly?? Well, I found out quickly, it is CANCER. BLOOD CANCER! The word cancer was enough to make me weep for my dear friend. How does one discover blood cancer?? There wouldn't be a lump to feel for... There woudn't be any self test you could do at home would there?? This was the start of my journey into blood cancers....
Michelle, my BFF who was diagnosed with leukemia was 19. Far from being one of those small children like we see on TV. She found out during a normal annual physical. Since she was young and in otherwise decent health, we all were optimistic of a quick remission. After some minor bumps, and several months of treatment, the sweet words of remission were spoken. Victory as far as I was concerned... Although everyone sat on pins and needles each time she needed to have a check-up and bonemarrow asperation to make sure the cancer was gone, the anxiety would lessen over the years.
Fast forward 9 years... The horrible word, relapse came up. The leukemia monster was back. The horrible part of the deal was - after 5 years, Michelle was sure she was "cured" and this was just not the case for her... Since her last fight, the doctors knew they would have to become much more aggressive. Now, they were talking bonemarrow transplant. This posed a whole new set of rules, and risks. Terms like host versus graft disease and a lot of issues with immune suppression came into play Suddenly this became so much more scary.
After what seemed like a lifetime of fighting and much more serious illness, she licked it all again. Remission was achieved again and with the new DNA given with the new bonemarrow it seemed a "cure" was now finally achieved.
Just when life returned back to normal once again, Michelle began to not feel well again. It was only two years after the transplant. Much to everyones heartache, the leukemia had once again returned. Unfortunately, with the failed bonemarrow transplant there were few options left. This opened the door for her to participate in a study where she most recently received a double cord blood transplant.
While the cord blood seems to have done it's job and the leukemia seems to be resolved so far, this has all come at an insurmountable expense. Michelle's poor body has been put through a hell those of us who are healthy can only imagine. She has had more toxic poisions pumped through her, the doctors have damaged her liver, heart, and now her brain.
At present time, my beloved friend rests in a coma. Time has all but stopped since she has fallen into her deep sleep, but I believe it's now been six weeks. I go and sit next to a woman who just six months ago was vibrant. I sit next to a woman who resembles my best friend, and I talk to her thinking she might just answer back someday.
SO, now I am left wanting to help. With no medical degree of my own, and little resources, I've done the only thing I can. I've signed on to help raise money to find a cure and to increase awareness. I 've signed on to help an organization that helps improve the lives of those affected by blood cancers...
Now I train for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training program. But I cannot do any of this without your help! Please, please, please join my team and help us find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, hodgkin's, and meyloma... I have a goal of $5000. Every dime goes directly to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Every contribution is 100% tax deductable. Please find it in your heart to help.
http://pages.teamintraining.org/mid/nikesf10/ajohnsotl9As cliche as it may be, my hope and prayer is, someday someone else will not have to sit by and watch their best friend suffer the way I have had to watch mine suffer....
Stay tuned! I will be updating on a regular basis on Michelle's condition, how the fundraising is going and of course how the training is going!! I'll have pictures, etc...
Thanks!
~AJ
